How to Let Go of The Identity Your Stubborn Mind Holds Onto + Embrace More Authenticity in Your Life

Friends, STOP FIGHTING A HOPELESS BATTLE by identifying with a nonexistent identity.

Let me save you a few hundred hours of planning, organizing, and arranging things so that it can fit perfectly into your perfect and flawlessly dandy life.

I know, because I’ve been there.

I know what it’s like to stay up until 3 AM every night, planning and organizing the next few years of my life so that I could achieve the ideal image of myself that my mind so stubbornly held onto. The image of:

… who I should be,

… what I should pursue,

… of how I should be living my damn life,

… and EVERYTHING in between.

Having goals is OKAY. Striving to be who you want to be is OKAY.

What’s NOT OKAY is when you’re 1) identifying with a nonexistent identity and 2) limiting yourself to other possibilities simply because you’re caught up with what exists in your mind… and your mind only.

That’s just a lose-lose situation, bro.

So let me help you out – these attempts at holding onto this unreal image of yourself is an attempt to control something that you don’t even want to control.

Can you imagine driving halfway to your destination, only to realize that you were going the wrong way?

Can you imagine rockin’ the hell out of your life, only to realize you were only just rockin’ the hell out of a social mask that you chose to wear?

C’mon now. Here are some ways to drop that identity and step into more authenticity in your life.

Let go of the expectations that no longer serve you

let go of expectations
Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

Having positive expectations is a sign of good self-esteem and a healthy level of confidence.

But the ones that no longer serve you? Let. That. Shit. Go.

These hold you back, disillusion you, and aren’t based on truth (let alone your truth).

What expectations have you come to believe as truth?

  • Do you continue to buy into the belief that by your age, you should have accomplished x, y, and z and that you should already have your shit together?
  • Do you get bogged down by the expectation that you should be attending college in order to be successful, even though you know that college isn’t for you?

Let go of the lies and drop that burden.

Let go of the past

let go of the past
Photo by Smart on Unsplash

Like all of it.

Would you believe me if I told you that letting go felt like death?

What does death have anything to do with this, you ask?

Well, we fear that if we let go of the “self” that we have learned to identify with, we would be letting go of everything we thought was real and this is REALLY threatening to our ego (and actually feels like death.)

Since our past is closely integrated into the way we view ourselves in the present moment… LET THE PAST GO, so that you can live more present and authentically NOW.


Photo by Thom Holmes on Unsplash

Journaling helps you come face to face with you – the REAL you. I’ve written a whole post on how journaling helps you with inner world transformations, so feel free to read that for more, I won’t be going into too many details on that here.

Here’s a journal prompt, though: What are you holding onto from the past that is affecting the way you view yourself now?

Play the “why?” game

Photo by Ken Treloar on Unsplash

The question that we’re trying to get to the bottom of is: how can I live more authentically?

This begins with understanding what your genuine desires are. Asking yourself “why,” “why,” “why,” is a great way to start.

“I want a job.” Why?

“Because I need stability.” Why?

“To be able to pay my bills.“ Why?

“So that I can be financially free.” Why?

“To experience freedom and peace of mind.”

Ah. Now that’s something you can work with.

If you ended at “I want a job,” you could technically just get any job. But that’s not exactly what you prefer to experience, is it?

Understanding “why,” helps you play this game of life a little bit more soulful.

Now you’re not limiting yourself to what it is that you think you need.

You also won’t be staying up until 3 AM, making demands on how you believe it should happen.

“I want freedom, so I need to find a stable job.” Let me go to five networking events, hand out my business cards to at least 25 people and then maybe I should be able to get what I want.

Energy doesn’t work that way.

Instead, you’re opening it up to the universe and saying “hey, what I really want here is to experience freedom and peace of mind.”

Take inspired action

inspired action
Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash

But it doesn’t end there, here’s where the opportunity for self-discovery and exploration come into play.

You can ask yourself, what is your relationship to freedom? Explore that and probe into that. I bet the universe will have plenty of avenues for showing you that.

Putting money aside, what would a “free” version of you look like? Let this be a guiding mechanism for all the thoughts you chose to think, feelings you chose to feel, and the decisions you chose to make.

“BUT WAIT, what about my bills?”

I can agree that striving for freedom is a stretch when you can’t even take care of those mundane, regula-degula ol’ bills.

Which is why: inspired action is absolutely required.


We’re not talking about just ANY type of action. We’re talking about making purposeful decisions… being very intentional about why we decide to do what we do.

So, when knocking for opportunities to experience freedom, it CAN happen in the form of a stable job, but it doesn’t HAVE to.

There’s a HUGE difference.

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