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The Truth About Affirmations: The Do’s and Don’ts

What Are Affirmations and How do They Work?

affirmations

Affirmations are a beautiful tool to have in your personal growth toolkit. They are the repetition of phrases or words, with the intention of affirming them as true.

More than just repeating words, it’s about softening into them, envisioning them being true for you, and feeling the way you would if they were true, right here, right now.

It can take you into having a deeper and more fulfilling inner world experience, where you can come to realize the endless possibilities for self-expression and self-discovery.

It collapses the illusion of time (as most know that affirmations are to be said in the present tense, and there IS truth to that) and it allows you to be a conscious creator as you deliberately move through life with clarity and intention, versus just moving through it without a clear direction.

Affirmations Help You Move Through Life with Clarity

Moving through life with clarity helps you get past the smokes and mirrors, straight to your destination in an enjoyable and more seamlessly way. Opportunities become realized. “Things” don’t happen by luck, but by deliberate preparation and intentionality.

Affirmations done with deliberate intentionality and rooted in the understanding of your own personal power are the ones with the most manifestation power.

When I began my blog in June 2018, I knew that I wanted to monetize it, and I wanted to monetize it quick.

So I affirmed that my blog is making money, I imagined how it would feel, and I believed that it was true for me. This affirmation then lead me to make decisions as though I was already one.

Let me be clear: this wasn’t simply so that I can make money. My big-picture goals were to have credibility and authority in my line of work, and I believed that making money would be the ideal way to obtain this. I also knew that I wanted to coach others, and as such, I needed to “walk the walk” and actually have something to back me up.

After doing research (and using common sense), I also knew that monetizing my blog would not happen quickly. So I had to explore other ways to make money. I learned that a lot of people usually monetize money by having an additional service. I couldn’t be a life coach right away, so I went for something that was more within my reach.

Since I was already doing content creation and learning how to use social media for my blog, I figured social media marketing was the way to go.

See? This was a deliberate intention. After obtaining this understanding through soul searching and getting my motives on good terms, I monetized my blog… six months after beginning.


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Where Do “Affirmations” Fall Short?

That’s why I believe that if the intention behind using affirmations is to give your life clarity and direction, then that would be best. Because through repetition, it sinks into your subconscious mind which then governs your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Affirmations then become a declaration of trust and faith, believing that you can steer your ship in the direction that you desire.

While affirmations can help you move through life with more clarity and intentionality, I do believe it falls short of offering people the deeper healing that one seeks.

My take is that it can help you become more aware of your thought process, which is a necessary component for healing, and to a degree, it can help you shift them in a more ‘positive’ direction. But unfortunately, I don’t believe it offers true healing.

Here me out. I have a point, I promise *Elle Woods voice.*

That Which is Broken Cannot Fix Itself

Yes, there’s actually an error in using affirmations. In fact, there’s an error in anything that’s meant to fix something that isn’t broken.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.

If I can use two words to describe human beings, I’ll use the words: complex and clever.

Complex because there are layers upon layers upon layers to healing. But also very clever because healing is necessary once you’ve invited the idea that you’re not already whole, compete, and loved. So now you’re on the lookout for ways to mend the perceived broken pieces together; forgetting that you were made by the very fabric of existence, by love and with love.

Using affirmations, you are attempting to mend the broken pieces of yourself that weren’t even broken in the first place. And even if it was broken… that which is broken cannot fix itself.

Love Doesn’t Need to Affirm, Love Accepts

The truth is, love doesn’t actually need to affirm. Love is actually quite accepting.

If healing is needed, love accepts this. If fixing is needed, love accepts this, too. Love does not defend and it does not deny.

Instead of attempting to fix yourself by using affirmations, it’s okay to sit with your feelings. In fact, I encourage you to lean into the feeling, acknowledge its presence, and accept that it exists.

Once you have the courage to actually listen, correction can be found from the silence within your heart and mind… as you listen with self-compassion and forgiveness.

Affirmations for a different “what-is,” then becomes replaced with acceptance for what is; awareness of the Self expands and healing is welcomed, here. Self-defeating patterns can become recognized as they crop up, and our ability to become aware of them and sit with them becomes the weapon that eradicates it.

Being present, we can notice when unwanted thoughts or belief systems crop up. Knowing our true worth, we realize it’s okay to let them hang out in the corner, without necessarily reacting from it or resisting it.

By observing your beliefs through the lens of acceptance and self-compassion, you can then transcend what doesn’t serve you, into a meaning and an experience that does.

Positive Vs. Negative: Where Affirmations Really Fail

Has this ever been you?

“I can’t do th– OH, WAIT. It’s wrong to think negative! I can do anything I put my mind to!” Then I hear you, sis. I really, really do.

But I want to encourage you to… [stap]

The truth is, everything actually has a neutral meaning. You give everything the meaning that it has. And guess what you’re doing when you resist what’s “negative?” Well, you’re actually giving it more power. By resisting it, what you’re doing energetically, is saying that it exists and it is able to harm you.

But this is not so! It is not a matter of positive or negative, or good or bad. Again, love does not take sides.

This is a matter of accepting what is.

With all respect to different worldviews, not all teachings in the media work for everyone, and it would be wise to check-in for what feels right and resonates for you.

Recap

Do:

  • Use affirmations as a declaration of your truth, this makes them a powerful tool for manifestation
  • Use affirmations to help you gain more clarity in the direction that you would like to steer your ship in

Don’t:

  • Fall into the trap of believing that through the simple repetition of words, you will heal
  • Resist ‘negative’ thoughts and replace them with ‘positive’ ones without fully understanding them

What are your beliefs on affirmations? Feel free to share them on the comments below!


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