Let me begin by saying – this is not a hate post, and I’m not here to place blame or project my expectations on other people. I’m also past the point of actually caring about who I feel is supporting me or not, but I know that I’ve learned a few insights that are helpful to share.
When starting a new project, a blog, or a business – feeling like there’s no support (especially from loved ones) – SUCK.
But, I’ve learned that times like these are the perrrfect-o opportunity to allow everyone to do whatever the hell they please.
That’s right – I’ll give them permission to write their own narratives, and I don’t mind handing them the damn pen.
I’ll be doing the same thing for myself, thank-you-very-mucho.
Admittedly, though… it absolutely sucks to feel like you’re not being supported in what you do.
And I’m not referring to the bystanders… the people who see what you’re doing but aren’t really saying much.
Nah, I’m talking about the people that seemingly downplay your work, dreams, and aspirations. These are the ones that hurt the most. (Stick around long enough, and the bystanders will come around.)
But, how can we change our perception, attitude, and behavior towards these people so that the grind continues… because, it must, right?
1. Reframe your mind towards “other people”
I already know how it goes,
➡️ “People are haters”
➡️ “People are negative”
➡️ “People don’t want to see me succeed”
➡️ “People don’t want me doing better than them”
If someone is unlikely to see something as being possible for them, it is unlikely they will see something as being possible for you.
Sounds like a personal problem.
It takes bravery and true fucking strength to realize that however someone feels about your potential is not a reflection you, it’s a reflection of them.
And it takes even MORE bravery and strength to practice compassion and understanding… because if that is their personal problem, that is a sad, sad, story… right?
2. Don’t expect any support
Let’s face it,
➡️ We all know those dreams that remained dreams and didn’t become a reality.
➡️ We all know those projects that began strong but didn’t finish strong… or finish at all, for that matter.
➡️ We’ve all heard people talk the talk without walking the walk.
➡️ We all know that plans change and shit happens.
You get the picture.
So, can you blame them?
If you can understand this, you can understand that being supportive would be the dopest thing to do… but by no means should it be an expectation.
Mentally prepare yourself for that… and know that it’s no hard feelings, really.
3. Don’t tell them your dreams
Just. Don’t. Do. It.
Instead, put your money where your mouth is. Just do the work and let them see your work vs. have them hear about it.
That’ll be the most fruitful decision you can make.
The next fruitful thing to do is to talk with the people that actually have something productive to say.
4. Listen to them + appreciate them
I know, I know, this contradicts the last one.
But, maybe you can learn a thing or two from what they have to say.
They may just have an interesting perspective that’ll be helpful for you,
➡️“Oh, you’re working on ANOTHER mommy blog? What makes you stand out from the rest?”
➡️“I’m not sure how successful you will be. Most people in this field already have accomplished x, y, and z.”
Guess what? In both these scenarios – they’re actually kinda right and it would be wise to listen.
Their skepticism could show you the loopholes in your ideas that you aren’t able to see.
Appreciate their perspective. Take it into consideration. Make adjustments if necessary, or don’t. Then move on.
5. View it as an opportunity for introspection
So, let’s explore some prompts that could help you. Journal about it, think about it, meditate on it, do whatever floats your boat.
➡️Other people’s thoughts matter to me because…
➡️When my loved ones don’t support me, I feel…
➡️(In the spirit of self-love) I can support MYSELF by…
➡️If I had support from ___, things would be different because…
We all have blocks that hold us back – and sometimes, those very blocks can be other people (that is, our perceptions towards them).
It’s normal to want to fit in and compare ourselves to others, but not when to use other people’s opinions as an indication of our success. That’s when having no support could be very discouraging.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Do the inner work and explore why. Let that be a part of your journey.
This is all the more reasons to appreciate them – by them playing the role of an unsupportive person, all along, they were just a mirror to you, showing you the areas of yourself that needed inner work and healing.
“Thank you! Now let me do me ;).” *Drops MIC* *Walks away*